Saturday, January 17, 2009
Grandma DeWitts Passing & Reflecting on Dad's Passing
So my Grandma DeWitt passed away this morning. It was completely expected. She is in her late 80's I believe. She has had arthritis for as long as I can remember, was in a wheel chair forever it seemed, and since November has been pretty much bed ridden, needing 24/7 care...her body just shutting down. My mom has been over there a TON taking care of her, along with my uncles and cousins etc. This week it was very apparent that it was very close to the end. She was under the care of hospice and was able to be at home to die. I think this is neat. Family and friends have been able to visit her and be near each other and it just is so much more intimate than dying in another "home" or a hospital. My grandpa Waldo DeWitt, ( kind of a legend to anyone who is from Mesa...) is still alive, surprisingly....we ALL thought he would die before her...Anyway, so this morning about 9 AM she passed. It has been a strange process for me personally. I live close, just a couple of blocks south of their little old yellow house on the corner, and so the boys and I would walk/ride bikes over there every day this week. To see her lying there in her bed, looking dead, but still breathing was weird. Two years ago my dad Troy Brinkerhoff at 59 had a heart attack and died. So my personal experience was more like, here today, gone tomorrow. I am not at all saddened by grandmas death. In fact, I do know she is finally out of pain, and at peace and in a better place. If anything, it makes me reflect on my dads life and his death, and makes me mourn for him. There is not much closure when someone dies suddenly like he did. And while I have come to terms with it and am at peace with it, I know my mom still wishes she had been able to say goodbye and have some of that time with him before he passed on. I do know though that his and grandmas deaths are both part of this great plan and that the Lord knows better than us. We'll miss you grandma, miss you calling moms house 15 times a day, asking "who's that" referring to Tyler ( she never quite could figure out who he was....) miss your Christmas programs, as annoyed as we'd sometimes get at them, and more. I hope you are there rejoicing with family members who have passed on already, surely getting to see Uncle Mitchell, and do me a favor, give my dad a BIG hug for me...
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7 comments:
Even though we know the "plan" it is still tough to watch someone we know so well and have fond memories of pass on. Wishing our condolences at this time. I know how you feel though, I didn't feel like I expressed "enough" grief at my grandma's passing in 2005 and her's was somewhat unexpected. I knew too as you say that this is the plan and that she is much happier on the other side, so it is hard to be sad for them, just sad for our own loss.
Love ya Lins! It's moments like these that make me reflect on the what is truly important & the rest of it is just fluff! Thanks for the sweet reminder!
Awwww, that was a nicely written goodbye. It seems wierd, but sorry seems like the wrong word. I know it was time for her to go, so I'm happy for her and for your Mom that she can now be in a better place. I was like that with my Grandpa too. Not sad, just happy and relieved for him to be out of pain. Well ok a little sad, just 'cause I really loved him, but not mournful at all. You're right, it is NEVER fair when someone is just taken suddenly. The ability to say goodbye is very cathartic.
Your family is our prayers. When we visited Mesa as I was growing up I always enjoyed visiting with her and hearing all the stories and watching the films. What a wonderful women, she has left an incrediable legacy in this world in her children and their families.
Sorry to hear about your grandmother--but I do understand the peace you feel knowing that she is more comfortable now. My grandmother's passing a couple years ago was much the same way.
I just wanted to say what wonderful grandparents you have. I know your grandfather was especially influential in my dad's life-- he was his bishop when my dad was young. Your grandparents are/were such good, strong people.
Danielle Pitts
Great thoughts, Linz. I don't remember a time in my life when she wasn't a part of it. I hope she gives your dad a big hug from all of us - bless your dear heart. Love you.
I got to see my grandpa the day before he died, and it was sad because it wasn't him...just his body, basically. But I was glad I got to say goodbye. That does make a difference. I was happy that he was finally in a better place, free of pain, but I still miss him. He was the best. It would be much much harder if it were my dad. I liked your "give my dad a BIG hug for me" at the end. Nice.
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